i am made so wrong
only my legs are strong
naked like an angel
naked wasted angel...

so a nice stony hit to get us all in the mood. am getting rather annoyed of the badger always being delayed cos of comms officer inadequacy and disorganisation. bring back george morris thats all i can say.

so today was spent sorting out those issues and working. the meeting house is THE place to work. tea just outside, an easy access toilet and easy smokage.purrfect. got in a good 4 hours wit beth which sounds dirtier than it was. talking of which in my seminar today which i made again, thats twice in a row must be a record - garth twa was talking bout this film him and paul are gonna make on how to behave in a film class. by showing how not to behave. i think i get to be a cannibal in it whicvh woukd be pretty cool. id make a badass cannibal.

so also there was a no sex thing and maybe if im v well behave i get to demonstrate this with beth. and to think i was close to just chloroforming her and dragging her back to my cave. hurrah.

i still feel a bit precarious. precarious is very close to precious. maybe i am just on the edge of preciousness...

when everyone around u throws choices at you all the time it seems like there are no choices.

i keep being pushed to make choices between my obligations and things i want to do. and i dont see it as wrong that i always have to chose my obligations. but its like being beaten up. i get made to feel guilty or inadequate in some way if i dont just say yeah fuck it lets just emigrate.

you know.

i think ive got too entangled up in this whole pulse thing. im like the parent that left, being brought in by the pther parent and the kid to mediate, a situation i dont appreciate but am finding it hard to extricate myself from..

am going back to my adolescence. listening to hole and pearl jam and man you know its good even tho it says something really fuicking terrible about the state of things.

i have decided to launch a vendetta against the uni post office. they wouldnt give me a piece of sellotape. a piece, not a roll mind you. i say
hi id like a first class stamp please. and a piece of sellotape
evil bitch woman: thats 28p and we dont do sellotape
me:i think uv misunderstood me, i dont want to buy a roll of sellotape i just want a piece
ebw; we dont do sellotape
me:no, i just want a piece
ebw: look, we dont have any sellotape here
me (looks over to the man behind the counter next to her who is sellotaping up a package) um.. he has sellotape
ebw: why dont u ask him then
(i move ovber to the man)
me: hi can i have a piece of sellotape pls
him: no we dont do sellotape
me: no i just want a piece not a roll
him (shouts) we only do sellotape on special delivery packages!!

what a cunt. its like it costs less than a penny to tape up my sodding envelope. so i vote we flash mob the fuckers.

whos with me?

and in other news, met rowan again and apologised for party behaviour-he thought i was annoyed with him cos i thought he was hitting on me, i just thought hed been rude. so we explained and turned out that we might know each other - in that i said he looked like sam and it turned out hes like sams best mate. weird.

i told my tutor my dissertation on dada and situationists is gonna be branded onto a cow, or filmed in mime. he seemed really keen. i tried to get him to giv me the marks just for the idea, but he said that that was conceptual art and not dadaism so he couldnt.
o well.

i might make it out of pasta...